She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
