His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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