Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
