Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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