im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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