yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
