I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize