dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
