I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
