Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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