Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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