I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
