I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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