...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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