If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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