last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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