He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
