The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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