Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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