I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
