you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
