So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
