3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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