Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
