every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
