"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
