I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
