i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
