i already hear my dad disowning me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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