just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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