i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
