I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
