I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
