I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
