The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
