Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
