what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
