My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
