I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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