Where did you get a picture of my penis
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
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