Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
