Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
