grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
