no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
