Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
