I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
