Apparently you make a good broom.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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