...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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