So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
