Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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