you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
