did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
