Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
