I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
