We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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