he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
