I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
