using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
